Diva Drama: When Bridesmaids Go Awry

Are your leading ladies turning into drama queens? How to deal when they lose it.

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The women you chose to be your bridesmaids are your best pals and therefore the perfect bride tribe to help you plan your wedding. But in the months leading up to your big day, there may, unfortunately, be a few diva moments, like a disagreement over the dress (not yours — hers) or a power struggle about your bachelorette party. There’s good news though, these mishaps don’t have to ruin your wedding day — as long as you’re prepared for them.

Diva Drama #1: She wants to be your Maid of Honor

The Scenario: You’ve always imagined your sister as your maid of honor, but your university roomie wants the title. She’s even been dropping hints since your engagement about how detailed and excited she is.
The Solution: Sit down with your friend and explain how you can’t imagine getting married without her at your side, but also that you only have one sister.
The Scoop: “I made the mistake and succumbed to my friend having her as my MOH and my sister as a bridesmaid.  I regret that decision immensely because my wedding can’t be repeated. The decision caused damage to my relationship with my sister that took years for us to move past.” – Louisa

Diva Drama #2: She’s very budget conscious

The Scenario: She complains about the price of the bridesmaid dress and wants to control your bachelorette party. She even has the nerve to say you don’t “need” a bridal shower since you and your fiance already live together. Say what?
The Solution: Delicately ask your bridesmaid if the wedding is becoming a drain on her budget. For all you know, she’s struggling to pay off debt or has had hours cut at work. Be willing to listen to her situation and possibly offer to help offset a portion of the dress.  Just be careful that, what you do for her, you may need to do for all should word get out.
The Scoop: “I had been a bridesmaid for a close friend and spent $395 on the dress. So I was beyond frustrated when I asked her to spend $150 for mine and she tried to back out of the wedding. It turned out that her husband had just been laid off and they were worried about losing their home. I bought the dress for her as a gift.” — Michelle

Diva Drama #3: She’s gone dark

The Scenario: Your super communicative friend has her iPhone attached to her hip but she hasn’t responded to any calls or texts in a week. The weirdest part: You know she’s updated her Facebook page, let’s face it, you stalked her. So what gives?
The Solution: Schedule some one on one time. This is an exciting time for you but your wedding isn’t the only thing she has to focus on.  Maybe a new work project has her inundated or something is happening in her personal life.  If that’s the case, offer your help. She’s your friend first — then your bridesmaid.
The Scoop: “I actually became a psycho stalker with one of my closest friends because she wasn’t answering my phone calls about going dress shopping with me. Each message I left escalated and not in a good way.  Of course I felt like a complete idiot when she got back from a two-week work trip — where she didn’t have cell reception. Not my finest moment.” — Britni

 

Diva Drama #4: She’s a control freak

The Scenario: Your bridesmaid is very outgoing and outspoken and she’s taking this to a whole new level by dictating every aspect of your big day. She’s pushing you to order a cake you don’t love and already bought a bridesmaid dress in a different cut than the one you chose because it makes her look thinner.
The Solution: Include your maid in the activities/decisions you feel comfortable including her in. If she gets bossy, kindly remind her that it’s your wedding — and while she may be excited to help, you’ve been planning it in your head since you were five.
The Scoop: “My uber-organized girlfriend would say, ‘The dresses have to be champagne!’ ‘Wear your hair up!’ “Only chandelier earrings!” It was nuts! I finally told her that I wanted to do things my way, but she didn’t take it well. It showed me that our friendship wasn’t all I had cracked it up to be.” — Lauren

 

Diva Drama #5: You want a PG-13 shower — and she’s planning an R-rated event

The Scenario: By now, you know that these events can get kind of, uh, racy. If your family is more conservative, it’s understandable that you’d rather not have penis straws or a penis shaped cake at your party.
The Solution: Schedule a more family-friendly affair for your in-laws, grandma and aunts, and then opt for a lingerie shower with your friends. Hey, you’ll get twice the loot! Or, save the R-rated items for the bachelorette party.  Remember, they may be planning the party — but you’re the guest of honor, so don’t be afraid to set the tone. Other options: a spa day, an tea style luncheon or wine tasting event.
The Scoop: “I was sure my bridal shower would be low-key, I mean my sister planned it. Was I wrong! One of my girlfriends gave me ben wa balls. Imagine how mortified I was having to explain to my mom, grandmother and future mother-in-law what these were! Then they wanted to know how they worked!!”  — Kristin

Diva Drama #6: She’s just announced her pregnancy – and dresses have been ordered

The Scenario: The girls just put down their deposits on strapless gowns with a form fitted waist, when one of them announces she’s preggo.
The Solution: Let her know how excited you are for her and schedule a day when the two of you can shop for a matching belly-friendly dress.
The Scoop: “At first I couldn’t help but think, ‘Seriously, you’re going to be 8 months along’? But then I realized that I was the one being a bitch, and I was excited for her.” — Brie